Picking up in bars and nightclubs is all the time a bit of a hit and miss. Sometimes the most charming one liner will work wonders, and other times the girl will slap you in the face and walk away. Nothing is guaranteed a 100% success rate when it comes to chicks in clubs, but there are a number of things that are guaranteed to not work.
Have you ever tried to pick up a girl by pretending that you're not curious in her, or being so mean to her that she ended up hating you instead of reasoning you're cute? Does your idea of a good way to get a girl's attentiveness consist of slapping her slowly on her butt and telling her she's "foxy"? If so, you need to stop and take a second to rethink, rework, and remember these top 5 things not to do when picking up girls in bars and nightclubs.
Funny Jokes One Liners
1. Don't ever swear at her.
Winning with One-Liners: 3,400 Hilarious Laugh Lines to Tickle Your Funny Bone and Spice Up Your Speeches Best
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Winning with One-Liners: 3,400 Hilarious Laugh Lines to Tickle Your Funny Bone and Spice Up Your Speeches Overview
One of the country's premier speakers provides an A-to-Z list of quick quips make presentations outstanding."I love one-liners and I love to laugh. This book is packed with both. I loved it!"
-Jeff Foxworthy, Comedian
"Pat Williams is a comedy genius. Granted, he stole all this material, but the people he stole it from are very, very funny."
-Dave Barry, Humor writer
"For a man who never took a shot he didn't like, I just love this book! It's filled with over 3,400 'shots' and these jokes are guaranteed to score with your audience. The room will rebound with laughter."
-Charles Barkley, Retired NBA great
Laughter is power.
Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds.
In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories-from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos-these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring.
While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers.
Winning with One-Liners: 3,400 Hilarious Laugh Lines to Tickle Your Funny Bone and Spice Up Your Speeches Specifications
One of the country's premier speakers provides an A-to-Z list of quick quips make presentations outstanding."I love one-liners and I love to laugh. This book is packed with both. I loved it!"
-Jeff Foxworthy, Comedian
"Pat Williams is a comedy genius. Granted, he stole all this material, but the people he stole it from are very, very funny."
-Dave Barry, Humor writer
"For a man who never took a shot he didn't like, I just love this book! It's filled with over 3,400 'shots' and these jokes are guaranteed to score with your audience. The room will rebound with laughter."
-Charles Barkley, Retired NBA great
Laughter is power.
Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds.
In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories-from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos-these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring.
While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers.
Customer Reviews
*** Product Information and Prices Stored: Feb 10, 2012 00:09:13
You can swear around her, to her, and even about her when you're with your mates the next day, but the last thing that a girl wants to hear from the guy that's trying to hit on her is "f*** you, shut up" over and over. I once met a guy who was fairly good looking, but every time I tried to talk to him all I'd hear is "f*** you...shut up!" He did it in a playful way, but after the tenth time it got a wee bit frustrating. Here's a tip, guys: swearing should be saved for football games, complaining about your boss, and sex. Don't bring it into the nightclub.
2. Don't dance if you can't.
If you're unable to pop it, lock it, drop it with your mates, then it's undoubtedly not a good idea to try to pick up a girl in this way. Trying to seduce a friend with funny, lame dance moves is great; trying to seduce the girl who has never met you before with some sort of effort at a Moonwalk is not. See the movie Hitch for a excellent example of the sort of dancing guys should never do in bars and nightclubs.
3. Don't order her an obscene, brainless sounding drink.
I can't stress this enough: stop wasting your money buying her these drinks in the hopes that she will go home with you that night. Even if she does, you will have wasted a hell of a lot of money when you could have found a beautiful girl for free.
4. Don't try to be the "cool guy"
Chicks dig guys who are real, not guys who try to wink at every person or guys who don't smile. The worst thing you can do when you try to pick up a girl is to make her think you're bored of her. I can't stress it enough. But smile normally: don't be a guy who smiles and winks and comes off as pervy. Just be normal: we love that.
5. Don't talk to her about other girls.
A sure-fire way to ruin your chances with a girl you've just met in a bar or nightclub is to tell her which girl mate of yours is hot, or which girl you currently have a crush on. Don't tell her about every person you've slept with, how many citizen you've hit on, or anything else that you wouldn't tell a girl when you're sober. I once met a German traveler who had obviously gotten with a lot of girls while travelling, but when I joked about it he said "let's not talk about it." Now that's class.
Sure, as a joke, these things can be funny when you're not in it for anything more than a laugh...but if you're serious about not going home to an empty bed, they should be avoided. Smile at her, talk to her, and be yourself. While that's the biggest cliché in the world, just remember: it's only called a cliché because it works so often, and being a normal, likable guy is the best cliché of all.
Things Not to Do When Picking Up Girls in Bars and Nightclubs
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